My new house is .... challenging for many reasons but is improving and my job is cool
Oddly though at the same time the "blackdog" has been prowling, i know i am not unhappy yet the old desire for self destruction and harm is there,the lack of keeping my room tidy , caring about the little and BIG things.
This is nothing new i know how to deal with this and yeah i have some new scars but he wont win he never does , he does not care enough to take me on.
So small steps, taking out the rubbish, cleaning and making my room tidy, doing the washing are good steps.
Later i shall fashion a bandage out of an old black sock and go to the gym and then a meeting about some more work.....
I am looking forward to lunch with a lady tomorrow that has become very close to me in a most unexpected and wonderful way.....
I have a new shiny phone a Samsung Galaxy Ace and i love being connected to the world again with twitter, facepants etc.....
This....journal will be changing it will become and more personal place for my thoughts.....less of "i did this" and more of "i think and thought this"
I toyed with the idea of dropping it altogether but it has become a part of who "i" when he prowls i find it useful to right down where i am at.
Watching the new series of Skins i still love it ....but i cry every time as watching it was a thing i did with S , we would watch it together or text during it and chat endlessly about Cassie and all the others.