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May 24th, 2008

unhappy.. and a little lost

I have always underneath my insane confidence and extrovert appearance been unsure of myself but i simply did not listen to those doubts most of the time and when i did it was when i was alone and not in public. Recently more and more i have been feeling out of place and like i no longer fit in when i go out.

I have always been a party boy and i have always managed to easily make freinds and be a part of what is happening, until recently??

I dont appear to have the ability to ignore my inner doubts like i used to and thats odd. Also i am not happy with the way i look i have put on way to much weight and i need for my own peace of mind to sort that out.

So from today i will mostly cut out meat and take aways and eat mostly fish and vegetables my training at the gym has been going really well and i am happy with that so now its time to take the next step fully sorting out my diet.

Maybe the way i am feeling when i am out is linked to the way i feel about my body right now i dont know but i know this is one thing i can sort out and thats a positive step.

The more i think the more i find that i am unhappy with .....perhaps i should not think as much?

well i think you have read enough self depreciating nonsense and i really dont have much more to say

*peace*

***EDIT*** i also learnt last night that two very wonderful people and great have for various reasons decided to leave Nottingham. I will miss both of them a lot despite not knowing them for very long.

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technomouse
Alan Clarke

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