September 6th, 2009

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!

Ok much normal person stuff to report

Right today i have cleaned the bathroom , it is most shiny this rocks, i have washed pots this is also cool, wonderful housemate cleaned kitchen that is now a bi polar kitchen as half is VERY clean and half is NOT so the kitchen reflects us both pretty well. Come to think of it the same is true of the front room and the lounge MMM a pattern is forming here.

I ache a lot from the gym as i spent most of the day there yesterday and i completely intend to spend a couple of hours there tomorrow before work.

I made really real food yesterday from vegetables and everything it was most fun and tasty.

I ma making great in roads into the land of normality so far there are no major forces massing against me that i can see.

Soon the doctor in a week or so....

MEGA EXCITING NEWS i am have arranged Saturdays off from work and sent a hopeful email to the local Buddhist centre to offering to volunteer with them. Can you please cross fingers, toes and anything else you are physically capable of without harming yourself

I am still pretty sad but i am coping by involving myself in many normal things and this is working pretty well. Tomorrow will be a MOST exciting day as i am catching up with a wonderful freind who i am not seen in ages and i simply cant wait.

I am getting the idea of compassion and it does really work , it about not thinking what i want but simply what i need and at the same time asking "will this make me happy?" instead of do i want this?

So my perspective is changing and this is good though its complex as well as simple, i am finding this true of many of the things i am learning about Buddhism and i kinda like it, its a puzzle in a simple way, like i already know the answer i just forgot and the question reminds me.

My favourite think i learnt recently and i paraphrase here, "When facing a seemingly impossible situation do not think how can i solve this or escape this , and simply remember this is just one of many lives you have lived and at some point you already figured this out, so ask yourself how did i do this before?"

When i fist read this i was v confused and cynical then i tried it and i have found it to be a most useful tool, it seems i know much more then i thought i do and simply changing my perspective of this from impossible or a challenge to simply remembering makes lots of hard things much easier.

I am spending much of my time figuring out what i have just read its very exciting