March 20th, 2010

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!


 Wow the past year has been a big one for me, so many changes and so many new/old things that i love making a very welcome re appearance in my life.

Five years ago about this time i was just starting to get the use of my right arm back and being told i might not be able to ride again and all the things i should do i have my bike back and its better than ever and i am looking forward to a summer of riding and discovering Derbyshire all thanks to woodlandfae 

I went through a dark time last year i thought i was addicted to coke and maybe i was.....

My finances were screwed beyond anything i thought i could sort there still screwed but i am paying back those i owe and sorting it

I thought i was worth nothing and now i have been able to give back something to a very special someone in caring for her i have found part of myself again.

I had pushed away many and was a very lost person

I am living a far quieter , secluded , calm and relaxed lifestyle which is helping me be happier than i have been in a long time, perhaps as it was once said i am a "simple bee"

I dont crave the attention or the self destruction i once did now i crave time with Emma and the simple happiness of spending time with good friends

I realise that a lot of these changes were preceded by me getting together with a simply wonderful and amazing lady

So this post is to you Emma i love you and i can not begin to thank you for all the wonderful things you have done for me

I dont know where i would be without you and to be honest i dont want to think about it

There are always dark times but sometimes someone comes along and changes all that with a simple smile and by being there.

I always thought i was so independent and a survivor and now i realise i had to be because i was the one hurting myself more than anyone, now i can relax and says it cool i dont hate myself and i am beginning to be ok with me.

Thnka you my love