September 4th, 2010

YAY a present for Darwin!!!! i have an answer

 It seems that i did not do enough was not aware enough and did not care enough.

but this time i tried i did way more this time and thought about my actions and words far more and really tried.

Love isnt enough

I think i am going to be sad about this one for awhile both at my own shortcomings and my inabilty to grasp the emotional aspect of a relationship and ........................

i dont think i want to try with anyone again for a while i am not sure i deserve anyone 

I opened myself up far more emotionally and to be honest it hurts to much.

I am trying not to be angry and trying not to blame the other party and i sure this is mostly my fault

But at the same time i would have liked more of a chance 

i did a lot this time and maybe not everything i could but i had work to get to and increased traveling time meant i was out of the house for 9 ish hours most days and was still held to a very high standard that i am not entirly sure was fair

But at the same time i was unable to give or do that much so i failed

I will cry for a while and be sad for a long while and stuff.....

this is all for now good night