October 3rd, 2010

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!

so ...when does this get better?

 I cant stop crying again today

Dont know why but i still want to hold woodlandfae  in my arms or just hear her voice..............

Work not going so well ......i know i can be great at it so why not NOW

My new boss actually questioned my commitment to the job on friday.......

I NEED i want this job SO much i want to do this work , i want IT 

So instead of sitting around tomorrow i am going into work at 8 am and i am going to tell him man to man how much i want it 

THEN i going to be the best dam fund raiser i can

I believe in the charity we are working for and i know i can talk to people i have spent the past two day writing and re writing my spiel 

I have made it a week without uppers and this should be something i am happy about but right now all i can do is cry AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY

How can i keep picking myself up ??? 

Today i give up everything else , no painkillers except when i need them EVERYTHING

As soon as i have sorted all this nonsense out i am sitting down going through my finances and actually coming up with a plan