April 16th, 2011

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!

so i cant have ......

And maybe its time to accept that....

I now  have to think about myself, and i am not happy, in fact i sad all the time.  Doing anything is hard all the time

So i plan for a future without her and hope for a different one with her

I want to travel...need to

I am planning for that i need to see things and i need to experience.

Its only just beginning but i can move forward and save and plan and it will be great, there will always be a hole in my life without her love and that life we planned.
I have to move forward i cant stand still i stagnate i .......stop working as well.
I cant be like that so i wont, The mac G4 is leaving the house this week and over the next few weeks i will throw/give/freecycle other things away
And free myself a little more and then see what happens