May 19th, 2011

YAY a present for Darwin!!!! three

I think i am getting somewhere, i am giving myself 15 mins to half a hour every morning for Breathing meditation, i like the fact i start each day with a clear head.

This is the start of the third day without any drink, smoking or anything lungs dont like me anymore but i am sure they will get used to it.

I am still sad at the loss of Jacey and i still do not understand where i worlds differed so much that our life we planned will not happen, but all i can do is accept and move forward,

I now know i want that experience in my life, i know i want kids at some point and i suppose improving many things within myself and around myself will facilitate that when the time is right.

I have decided if  eglantinedreams is around that around for my birthday on the 23rd of July i shall be booking a B and B in Brighton and having a holiday as i have a week off from work!

I have already started the throwing away and re sorting of my stuff, as i wish t remove all unnecessary things from my life so in a few months hopefully by the end of the year i can move to a newer nicer house or flat.

I am mediating every morning and that is great and attending Buddhist class every Wednesday and thats FAB

So getting on with things and stuff and allowing myself to cry when i need to.

There is less noise in my head today i think this is a good thing