June 3rd, 2011

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!


Where to go and what to do now?

Well sign on, sort out housing benefit and start looking for a new job i suppose.

I have been continuing the throwing away/giving away of my stuff.

It time to get rid of my attachments......i am left wondering where i go from here, no job, no partner, no.......

I thought i had all this shit figured out at the start of this year a baby planned, a job and the most amazing lady in the world.

Now i have none of that.....

I left feel cold, detached, sad and confused

I need to take some kind of action but i have little or no motivation to do so

So instead i am sitting around the house finding it hard to write and mostly watching TV shows and playing computer games.

I am not happy......i can remember happy but i am no longer there

I feel lost again...a feeling i have become kind of used to.....it starting to seem like its where i should be, i always seem to end up here.

Im tired ALL the time, i seem to have no energy or desire anymore.

Nothing really holds much interest for me and nothing seems to matter,

I did even feel anything when they let me go on monday i still dont really care.

I need to find that something in me that i used to have, i can still fake every so often but its not really there...just a shadow

Perhaps i should just stop fucking typing all this introspective, nonsense

*peace out*