August 18th, 2011

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!

this may sound odd

At night when i on my own i found myself often chatting out loud to a friend who died recently.


and recently chatting to her has given me perspective.


All those crazy wonderful , mad nights were AMAZING and i will never regret them, At the same time i know now i was so afriad of myself of my emotions.


I always thought THIS life , having a baby and not drinking or whatever would be so dull, when in fact ITS MORE ALIVE, and better and like i am doing something important and i was so wrong for so many of those years.


I am glad i did it .....i learnt so much and saw so many things that i bring a lot of life experiance with me and that will help Mia so much i hope.


THIS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW


This is better ....its fuller and more wonderfully confusing...feeling all of this is AMAZING


And i have to thank JC for showing me there was more......and i am so happy that i am going to be a father and i will do my best to be a GREAT dad.


I was wrong for a lot of years and ....its ok because i was young and i learnt so so so much 



And now with all that life experiance i am ready for this and its not dull ITS MORE and better and so amazing that i am happier than i have ever been and life is good
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