October 15th, 2011

YAY a present for Darwin!!!!

its time........

I have just blocked JC from my face book and I am getting on with my life, i realise that Mia will always be a connection between the two of us and nothing will ever change how much i love my baby girl.

I simply can no longer take how JC looks at me and how she treats me, i had hoped we could be friends again one day and that may still be the case but for the time being i need to be getting on with my life and not living in hope of something that might never happen.

I have been crying most mornings and i am not sure why............

I know in myself that i either move on or go nuts, i have no choice any more and the sooner JC gets her own place the better.

I know that sounds harsh and i am not saying that i will not do everything i can to support the both of them i will, anything that JC or MIa needs if i can they will have it for as long as i am alive.

Right now i need to get over JC.

I can be good at my new job...in fact i can be great and i will provide for the both of them.

Emotionally right now i need to be away from JC so that i can cry and put what's done in the box and move on.

The times i shared engaged and in a relationship with JC were the best of my life it was only a year ago we started getting it together and it has been an INSANE year.

I am sober now, i have left  the party lifestyle behind, screwed up the best relationship I have ever been in, lost a dear dear friend changed jobs 4 or 5 times and conceived a child who will be born very very shortly.

I would be lying if i said i was not struggling to cope BUT the point here is I AM coping and yeah me and JC are done and no matter how much i wish that were not the case it is.

And the best thing i can do for me right now is sort out this house , throw away lots of memories and move on, that way in a month or so i can be the best father i can be.

So yeah i will be ok and yeah i know what to do