Alan Clarke (technomouse) wrote,
Alan Clarke

  • Mood:

confused again....

Its odd my thoughts and mind are all over the place right now, i feel very strongly for someone but know i am not ready/able to commit i would like things to continue in whatever way they wil so i just wait ?

At the same time i need and dont want to be alone i am not good around people, but i know i still do love her.

And i know that it is more than likely to much to late and while the other day was simply amazing iam not sure it will happen again or perhaps this is just me being paraniod??

Simply i dont know where i am with myself still

I have gotten the idea of holding somone in my arms and feeling that wonderous closness out of my head as i didnt see value in it and becasue .....i just didnt want to allow myself to be hurt again.

Bt i am not sure i care about any of that right now i do just want to hold her in my arms and tell her how i feel, and maybe i should have done that 12 years ago and maybe now its too late?

This is all stupid there is little to nothing i can do really except what i am doing so perhaps thats all this is....

Perhaps the walk home will clear my head?

Mediatation seems to be easier these days only it bringing uop more questions than it is helping sometimes.
Tags: lost, odd

  • Evening thought wanderings

    It's weird as I sit here and write in this journal I have had for most of my adult life I wonder, looking back I have been many people and now I am…

  • weird side effects

    So i am trying to talk more openly about my everyday health and well being, this isn't easy because i mostly live in some sort of odd denial that…


    After my recent scare i have discovered a new love for EVERYTHING LIfe is bright , colourful , manic, busy and all round AMAZING I am looking…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.