And no matter who i go out with / marry or whatever that was the first time THE actual first time i wanted that, the first time i sat on this sofa with my hand on her tummy hoping there was our tiny person in there.
And it doesnt matter where i go from here i love her so much i wanted a family with her.
There will never be a another first time i want that or to be honest i am not sure i will i want that again.
I know i can get over this and i know i will, but right now i cant seem to.
And i still want that with JC and i dont know yet how i am going to change that.
So i will carry on meditating , carry on improving me and just keep going
Nothing else i can do.
Walking to work today to clear my head i think so i can be the bright shiny happy ACE call centre guy