All of the things were "dark" and disturbing and in some cases out right violent
A lot of it revolved around JC and some of it revolved around drugs .......
To be honest its really shaken me up and i have never had any experience like it nor do i ever want one again.
I actually feel like i am going kinda crazy a the moment....i hope i am awake but not so sure?
I need to make changes.........
I think either i have to move out or JC does and i dont like coming to that conclusion but i simply can not cope with her being here and not with me, its like being with someone without being with them like a ghost of something that should never had ended but so obviously has :-(.
I honestly thought i could ...but now i know we are over i think a line needs to be drawn
I also need to get completely straight and sort my head out....i will be going to Buddhism class tonight and maybe staying at a friends for a few nights.
I have taken lots of steps forward recently and i need to keep doing that.
Right now i want to curl up into a ball and cry .....instead i am making coffee , eggs on toast, having a shower and going to work
Then i am going to Buddhist class and ..........
Right before i dissolve into a crying mess i am getting on with my day