I want be her friends with her but .....i cant my emotions are too turbulent, ever time i try and have a conversation all the things we planned and wanted that are now lost forever are in my mind.
I am doing well in the rest of my life, but it doesnt seem to matter to me without her nothing seems to.
I should have done more i suppose i could have done more but .....
I accepted so many things and started wanting those things and that life and now its just gone?
Recently i have been drinking , and taking things that make me numb and not care but i simply can not continue that i have move on from this.
I am looking for my own place ..a new start and maybe that is a way forward in the mean time i suppose we will just carry on till one of us sorts out a new place to live.