This is the start of the third day without any drink, smoking or anything else....my lungs dont like me anymore but i am sure they will get used to it.
I am still sad at the loss of Jacey and i still do not understand where i worlds differed so much that our life we planned will not happen, but all i can do is accept and move forward,
I now know i want that experience in my life, i know i want kids at some point and i suppose improving many things within myself and around myself will facilitate that when the time is right.
I have decided if eglantinedreams is around that around for my birthday on the 23rd of July i shall be booking a B and B in Brighton and having a holiday as i have a week off from work!
I have already started the throwing away and re sorting of my stuff, as i wish t remove all unnecessary things from my life so in a few months hopefully by the end of the year i can move to a newer nicer house or flat.
I am mediating every morning and that is great and attending Buddhist class every Wednesday and thats FAB
So getting on with things and stuff and allowing myself to cry when i need to.
There is less noise in my head today i think this is a good thing