Alan Clarke (technomouse) wrote,
Alan Clarke

another relationship where i can never do enough

Sometimes plans are made and babies do not fit into them i made a choice to leave Mia with her mum yesterday evening so i could catch up with a friend for half an hour, i would have dearly loved to take her with me but she was asleep and he was only available for a very short time, in fact we only managed to have a quick beer with each other, now apparently i am a bad father because i left my daughter sleeping with her mum instead of staying there and missing a rare chance to catch up with a dear friend??? I waited as long as i could for her to wake up and was so looking forward to taking her with me ...however she was asleep and i have also been looking forward to seeing this friend .....I also left her mum and Mia a nice meal which i would have loved to eat with them and spent a wonderful day with them including bringing coffee and breakfast at 0830 in the morning and fetching catfood etc but again this was not enough??????

Even if i had waited till she was awake my friend would not have been there so i would have been taking my baby out to see no one which makes no sense AT ALL

I do not get what i did wrong and i do not get how after all that i do asking for half an hour to see a dear friend is asking too much?

I have v little food in my house as i have spent most of my money helping out, i have very little free time as i am often over there with my daughter, 

And to be honest a lot of the time i spend with Jacey ( MIa's mum) is hard as she always keeps having little digs at me constantly trying to put me down i have taken to simply not speaking very much at all as i refuse to get into an argument

I am there for my daughter and whatever shortcomings Jacey may see and point out are nothing to do with that.

I am now at a point where i withdrawing any help i give to Jacey because i am tired of it all, if Mia needs something i will gladly help out , but cooking for Jacey, buying food, sending texts and ALL the other stuff i do NO no longer until she can be civil to me.

I will go over and pick up my daughter and bring her here or take her out i am going to concentrate on making my  house a nice, friendly and safe place for my baby.

Sorry but i am simply tired of never being in the right with that Lady, 

So i think its time to draw a line my efforts now are aimed fully at Mia and helping her to be happy, i will spend as much time as i can with her, helping her, reading to her etc

As soon as i can afford it i will get a toddler/baby bed for my room so that she  can stay here with me.

I am filling in a application for to get on the housing list and l am now looking for a job that can support me getting my own 1 or 2 bedroom flat that i can kit out for me and Mia.

If anyone of you guys in or around Nottingham know where i can get a cheap toddler bed from could you let me know please?
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